THE RITALINS

(February 2003)

1. Is it true that it rains 365 days a year in Scotland?

Simon: No, it rains 360, we also have 5 days of snow.

2. Simon, you designed www.benweasel.com, you designed www.eveninblackouts.com, you spend your vacation in Chicago hanging out with Jughead and top of that your band sounds exactly like Screeching Weasel. Don't you think it's a little bit too obsessive?

Simon: Obsessive... me...? Just you wait until we visit your country, I'm going to be the Apers number one stalker. I'm going to steal Kevin’s underwear, marry Jerry and adopt Ivo and Marino as our kids!... Oh, and don't forget to check out www.theriverdales.com. They've reformed!!!!!

3. Don't you think the bagpipe is the most annoying instrument in the world (followed closely by the didgeridoo)?

Simon: It's annoying when fat Americans try to play it cause they visited Scotland once and decided they were part Scottish because their great grandmother's first boyfriend's mum's cousin was a quarter Scottish.

4. You are on the European Poppunk Virus... Wouldn't you rather be on a better comp?

Simon: Hey! We'd love to be on a better comp but you people with your wooden shoes were the only ones crazy enough to put us on one!

5. Are any of you from the Clan McLaud? Like in Highlander?

Simon: No. We all descend from the Klan Mc Mac Daddy.

6. Aren't skirts for girls?

Richy: Skirts are for girls. Kilts are for dudes. (Richy Ritalin wrote this answer, I think kilts seriously suck. They itch way too much. Si.)

7. Mr. drummerboy, you're really in an emo band too?

Simon: Martin our drummer hasn't had a chance to look at these questions but... um... yeah, he's in "another" band...

8. What's in hagus?

Simon: What's a hagus?... Don't know. Haggis, however, is oatmeal, heart, liver, offal, eyeballs, mucas, gonads and any other crap that doesn't look like meat that came from an animal. It's all mixed up then boiled in a sheep's stomach. You have to drink whiskey when you eat it so you forget how fucking putrid it is.

9. Why would you eat haggis?

Simon: Why?... Fuck knows. I don't know anyone who eats that shit. Fucking patriotic nonsense.

10. You guys like to get high on poppers, isn't that a drug for homosexuals?

Simon: What's your point?